Ranking the Goddesses

Hello and welcome to all you beautiful dragons, today I’m starting a waifu war. That’s not my intention but when you rank characters it’s a risk. The point is people have different opinions on waifus. This is a joint piece featuring myself, The Hostess and Saethyrax the Daydreamer. The main order was decided by me and if Saethyrax’s opinion differs it’s written in red next to the black. Similarly sections he’s written are in red. This is also a great way to introduce the characters to anyone who doesn’t know the series.

12. Peashy

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory

“Boo! Play with me too!” – Peashy

“Oops! I forgot! I wasn’t supposed to say it’s nice to meet you. Forget that I was nice, okay?” – Yellow Heart

Peashy is one of the CPUs for Planeptune in the Ultra dimension. She personifies a PC, easy to figure out from her name. Peashy is pretty much a child and not the adorable kind. No, she’s an unruly kid that freely tackles others and breaks things. Peashy can be annoying. Her energetic and outgoing nature compliments her combat style, punching/fists. Despite her tough act she can be very emotional and burst into tears. To reiterate she is a child. An annoying child. Granted Yellow Heart’s design is cute and she has impressive “assets”, if that’s your thing. Underneath that she’s still Peashy. When she transforms her personality barely changes. There’s no hate for Peashy but she is annoying. That lands her at the bottom of the list.

11. Ram

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory

“Get frozen into a glacier, dummy!” – Ram

How dare you make Rom play hostage and make her cry! You’ll pay, dummy!” – White Sister

Ram is one of the CPU Candidates of Lowee, the younger sister of the Lowee twins. Both sisters personify the Nintendo DS handheld systems. Ram is the more dominant twin, taking charge in conversations. She leans closer to the more aggressive side of Blanc’s personality. Although no one can compete with Blanc’s rage. Again she’s a child so she’s playful and in her case bratty. This brattiness and her big headedness can make her unlikable. On top of that she freely dishes out insults. Ram is akin to a steamroller. She’ll take over a conversation, sprinkle in some insults and not listen to reason or other people’s opinions. She does have her good points. She will do anything to protect her sister. She can be cute, if she would shut her mouth some of the time. Bottom line when you compare Ram to the other CPU Candidates she is the least likable. 

10. Rei Ryghts

“Oh dear! I’m sorry, sorry, so so sorry!”- Rei Ryghts

“Your low-class whore personality makes it debut, I see. This is why you CPUs are vulgar whelps.”- Blue Heart*Only assumed based on the established naming convention.

Rei Ryghts was the CPU of the forgotten nation of Tari and the main antagonist of Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory. She personifies the Atari 2600 console. She led the villain group of Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory unaware that she was even a goddess having forgotten long ago, believing herself to be just a normal human. 

Rei has a drastic personality change when she transforms into her goddess form. Rei’s personality is quite gentle in her human form. She lacks confidence and has trouble conveying her ideas to her allies, who constantly tease her on a daily basis. In her Goddess form however, she becomes incredibly aggressive, arrogant and abusive towards others. She also loses her confidence problems when she’s transformed. Rei’s CPU personality would sometimes leak through to her human form, totally changing outward impressions of this normally kind, soft spoken girl. Rei’s reason for being a villain is because she failed as a CPU, she believed all CPUs were doomed to fail.

Rei is more interesting than the previous two. When there’s a large difference between a CPU’s human form personality and Goddess personality it makes scenes and encounters more entertaining. However Rei is an antagonist. A good antagonist but still one all the same. Of course the hero characters are going to out rank her.

9. Vert

9. Nepgear

Source: Hyperdimesnion Neptunia
Source: Hyperdimesnion Neptunia: Mk2

“Perhaps the world can wait just one more week while I speed through that game…” – Vert

“Wh-?! Breasts are symbolic for both maturity and fertility. The size of my bust equates my aptitude as a goddess.” – Green Heart

Vert is the CPU for Leanbox and personifies Xbox consoles. On the surface she appears to be the oldest and most mature of the CPUs. She’s kind, regal and loves her tea. Around the other CPUs she happily takes a big sister role, not having any younger siblings herself. Once you look beneath the caring, wise and sometimes playful Goddess you see that she has a serious gaming addiction. Locking herself in her room for several days, skirting her duties as CPU to play games. Due to her lack of a younger sister Vert tries her best to steal Nepgear as the sister she never had. Maybe if Microsoft attempted a handheld console that would change for poor Vert. Something else you quickly begin to realise with Vert is that she can sound quite pretentious, especially when talking about herself. Being proud of your beauty and “assets” is all well and good but maybe don’t mention it every time you level up. Vert is my least favourite of the main Goddesses. No hate, just a preference for more entertaining personalities. That is why she is here.

8. Nepgear

8. Vert

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory

“What the goodness?” – Nepgear

“I still have a ways to go… I have to try harder…” – Purple Sister

Nepgear is the CPU Candidate for Planeptune, personifying a fictitious handheld console, N-Gear, based on the unreleased Sega Game Gear. Nepgear’s personality is the opposite of her older sister. She’s organised and hardworking, most of the time being the more mature/responsible out of the two. Nepgear is a simple character. She’s genuine, kind and a reliable girl who deals with major self confidence issues. This low self esteem means that she gets pushed around or requires encouragement from her team to push through. Making Nepgear a bit of a doormat. Nepgear is a tinkerer and is pretty good with technology, occasionally using these talents to help out her sister and friends. Nepgear is pretty much the nice doormat who is overshadowed by other characters. Sorry Nepgear you’re not a little closer to Neptune this time.

7. Noire

7. Rom

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Mk2

“Who are you calling “socially inept?!”- Noire

“As soon as we’re done here, this guy’s fired.” – Black Heart

Noire is CPU of the nation of Lastation, she and her nation personify the Playstation series of consoles. Noire fits the role of your typical tsundere for your regular anime gaming needs. Out of the main 4 she is the hardest working, a lot of the times putting work before her own well being. During her time off from Goddess work she either plays games, spends time with her sister or does cosplay, she prefers to keep her cosplay hobby a secret though. In the remake of the first game she is the first of the other three goddesses to befriend Neptune and in later games is usually the closest friend Neptune has out of the other goddesses, even if it doesn’t seem it on the surface. I will say, out of the costume designs I like Noire’s the best.

I agree. I like Noire’s costume design best, there being some exceptions here and there. Personally I’m not a big Tsundere person. There are some who are my favourites but generally I find Tsunderes unnecessarily mean. Being cute for just your crush doesn’t make up for that in my book. So there are characters I like more than Noire.

6. Neptune

6. Noire

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Mk2

“No matter what happens, we’ll make it through with my protag ruleset!” – Neptune

“Why bother with statistics when reality has already given you the answer?” – Purple Heart

Neptune is the CPU for Planeptune and personifies a fictitious Sega console that is based on the unreleased Sega Neptune. She is carefree and playful, appearing to act immature most of the time. Her ditziness combined with her strong sense of justice means Neptune acts before thinking. Sometimes that works out in her favour and others leave her needing help. Her friendly, happy-go-lucky nature means she makes friends pretty easily, quickly giving them cute nicknames. Her optimism and confidence are traits that Nepgear and others admire about her. When she transforms into Purple Heart her personality changes dramatically. Purple Heart is much more mature and serious than her human form. She can take a step back and assess a situation with keen observation and in a rational manner. Maintaining her strong sense of justice and confidence, possibly increasing with transforming, results in Purple Heart having an inflated ego, believing that no one can beat her. Oddly I like Purple Heart more then Neptune, something to do with her taking situations seriously. Neptune see’s everything as a joke or a game. That’s entertaining and sets the tones for the games but not enough to have me calling Neptune waifu.

5. Uni

5. Neptune

Source: Hyperdimesnion Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimesnion Neptunia: Victory

“It’s not like I wanted to come to this concert or anything.”- Uni

Uni is the CPU Candidate of Lastation, making her Noire’s younger sister. She personifies the Playstation handheld consoles. Uni is only really similar to Noire in that she’s a little bit tsundere, there are other similarities between them but no other obvious ones. Uni comes off as an ordinary teenage girl desperately trying to live up to her sister’s expectations, even missing out on making friends to do so. Despite her lack of free time, she has managed to become best friends with Nepgear.

Uni is the only of the goddesses that prefers to use ranged weapons, though in some games she forgets you’re supposed to shoot enemies with it not whack them. In her human form she uses rifles and in her HDD form she uses a BFG (If you don’t know this acronym, what rock have you been living under. No, not the giant.) the likes of which rival most other BFGs you’ll see. The fact she uses such a heavy weapon shows that even though she looks about 16 (hard to tell but she looks younger than Compa, who may be in her 20s) she’s stronger than most people in their prime. Interestingly, she’s the only goddess to get “smaller” when she transforms.

Uni is a great character and the only reason I can give that she is in this spot is because she has tough competition. She’s beaten by cuteness, entertainment and personality differences.

4. Rom

4. Uni

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory

“Ram, when you’re a meanie… I don’t like it…” – Rom

“Let’s… do our best.” – Rom

Rom is the other CPU Candidate for Lowee and older sister of the Lowee twins. Both sisters personify Nintendo handheld consoles. Rom takes after the more soft spoken and serene aspects of Blanc’s personality. She can be quiet and even seen as shy. Although Rom mostly follows the lead of Ram she does have her own free will. Rom doesn’t always agree with how Ram acts or what she does but let’s her sister do what she wants anyway. When push comes to shove Rom will be the one to get Ram to listen to reason when she’s too busy steamrolling. She is exceedingly polite, calling everyone Miss or Mr. Rom is a precious cinnamon roll that needs to be protected from this world. Rom is my favourite CPU Candidate because of how adorable she is.

3. Uzume Tennouboshi

Source: Megadimension Neptunia V2
Source: Megadimension Neptunia V2

“I’m pretty hungry.” – Uzume

“It’s Uzume’s turn!~” – Orange Heart

Uzume is the CPU for Planeptune in Zero dimension. She is the personification of the Sega Dreamcast. She comes across as a tomboy with the desire to appear cool so that she’s seen as reliable. Uzume puts all her friends and people above everything else, willing to die in order to protect them. Only those closest to her can catch a brief glimpse of her relaxing. All of this is a mask she created when she became the only CPU left in Zero dimension. Her true nature comes out to play when she transforms into Orange Heart. In her Goddess form Uzume is this cutesy, adorable muffin full of innocence. A girl of pure heart that wishes everything is okay. I fell in love with Uzume. Her personality change is a bit of a whiplash but just made me fall harder.

2. Blanc

2. Plutia

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Mk2

“I’m now writing a battle harem, slice-of-life novel. It will be epic.”- Blanc

“Tch! It’s the damn game’s fault! We’re playing the boxing game next! Left, left, right hook, uppercut!!!”- Blanc enraged, her usual state.

“Shut it! I can’t stand the way you talk all high n’ mighty, Thunder Tits!” – White Heart, shouting at Green Heart

Blanc is the CPU of Lowee. She personifies the Nintendo consoles, mainly the Wii. She’s the most aggressive out of the CPUs. She’s got a hair trigger personality, meaning that one moment she’s the calmest person you’ve ever seen, then in a blink she’s rage incarnate. Her volatility makes her difficult to work with, but she will work with others if it’s for the fate of Lowee or Gamindustri as a whole. The other CPUs, mainly Vert, like to get her riled up just because they think it’s funny. She is probably the toughest out of the CPUs, I personally have had her hold out way longer than the others in losing combats.

Blanc likes to read and aspires to be a writer, she’s not very good though and nobody buys her books. She is very caring about her younger sisters, even if they drive her up the wall frequently. As the games went on she’s become a lot more open, spending more time with her fellow goddesses and generally having fun.

Blanc is extremely entertaining and funny, this comes from her quick changes in personality. I see some of myself in her. She’s an avid reader and dreams of being a writer. Although an extreme and exaggerated, Blanc is an example of the idea that it’s the quiet ones to watch out for. Quiet people can be nice and polite but if you anger them it’s scary. I know, I’m like this, not as short of a fuse as Blanc. As much as I love Blanc there is one more who holds the top spot in my heart.

1. Plutia

1. Blanc

Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory
Source: Hyperdimension Neptunia: Victory

“Nice to meet you! I’m Plutia. Actually, Neptune isn’t the main character, I am!”- Plutia, bonus voice

“Hey Blanny. Look at me. Let me see your tear-stained face and bright red eyes…” – Iris Heart, teasing the Blanc of her dimension

Plutia (Pururut in Japan) is the CPU of Planeptune in Ultra dimension, which is based on the 80s. She personifies the Sega Mega Drive (Genesis for you guys in America). Plutia is a very kind, cheerful and easy going individual. She seems to be constantly tired to the point that she doesn’t even bother to change out of her pyjamas, yes that dress is her pyjamas. Plutia has one of the largest personality differences between her human form and her HDD form, Iris Heart. Iris Heart throws all of Plutia’s kindness out the window, being a sadist with a massive superiority complex. Iris Heart considers all the others her pets, there to be “played” with. Iris Heart speech is generally  quite lewd, tending to make dirty jokes or speak in innuendo. You’d be forgiven for thinking Plutia and Iris Heart were different people. Plutia does have mild sadistic tendencies but not to the extent of Iris Heart. Plutia’s hobbies include making dolls, spending time with her best friend Noire (Ultra Dimension) and napping, who’d have thought.

Plutia is my top girl. I love her character design, her personality and her HDD form brings a new dynamic to the group. It’s pretty clear by now that the cuteness factor influences my likes and Plutie’s got that, even with her sadistic tendencies.

Here we are at the end. Who are your goddess waifus? Do we have similar tastes? If you didn’t know the characters before I hope you do now. Thank you all for reading. Sending you love and light and we’ll see you in the next post.

-Your Hostess-

-Saethryx The Daydreamer-

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